Things my Tudor-Stuart History prof has said in response to student answers

"Listen, it doesn't matter what you say, it'll be wrong."

"OH MY GOD, YOU IDIOTS!"

"Maybe one day you'll get it right, and then I can face my maker. Until then I shall battle against this dark world."

"I wish that there was a piranha tank underneath your seats, that way I could pull a lever and send you down whenever you answer so stupidly."

"I'm going to start throwing people off the balcony."

"You're a pullulating mass of ignorance."

"There is a model of Renaissance education called 'teaching by praise.' Of course, I don't believe in it."

He's hysterical. Favorite teacher of all time, possibly. When you answer a question incorrectly he practically faints, he's so ashamed of you. He's the most theatrical little man I've ever come across. He's toughened all of us up, now we're as leather-skinned as regular Oxford students. He could tell us he's going to steal our firstborns and kill them under cover of night for answering a question incorrectly, and it wouldn't faze us. Actually, the entire class chuckles now when he starts yelling, and after he's done he usually smiles too. It's all in good fun.

Underneath it all he's surprisingly sweet, too. He gave us a lecture on not letting British boys take advantage of us, and he set up a little get-together with a few of his Keble students so that we can meet people.